Delicious Foods

by James Hannaham
Feb 7-Mar 6, 2016

Delicious Foods is a fruit and vegetable farm. For its workers, it's a living hell. For me, the reader, it was a grueling month of insane subject matter. The book starts out in an unbelievable place:

“After escaping from the farm, Eddie drove through the night. Sometimes he thought he could feel his phantom fingers brushing against his thighs, but above the wrists he now had nothing. Dark stains covered the terry cloth wrapped around the ends of his wrists.”

And it isn't until about 90 percent through that the "how" is revealed. Some might call that a slow burn; I call it agony. The entire story was surreal. Hannaham has some imagination. But for me it was very difficult reading. Not only the story, but the heavy dialect used for one of the three main characters. Oh, and this character, Scotty, is crack. Literally the voice of crack. Not an easy read by any stretch.

This novel has everything from political undertones to modern-day slavery. That's really the only way to describe what happens at this horrific place. I'm actually kind of glad that I didn't know what a palmetto bug was until I finished the book because it would have been that much harder for me to take. By the way, it's a cockroach. Gross.

It's hard to determine whether someone could actually enjoy this book. One reviewer was quoted on the dust jacket calling it "astonishing." That's the perfect adjective. With intense descriptions of how Darlene's husband was murdered to the treatment of the crackheads on the farm, I truly found it a chore to turn the page. But the author's messages were quite clear and he painted scenes one more macabre than the next. I'm exhausted.


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The Book of Speculation

by Erika Swyler
Nov 6-Dec 15, 2015

Well that was a whole lot of nothin'. Or, more specifically, a whole lot of nothin' disguised as somethin'. Maybe it was the major plot line about some old, sinister tarot cards that turned me off. I'm not a fan of mystics, tarot card readings, horoscopes, etc. But I typically love books about books, about magic, about the beach. Or possibly it was the whiny-as-hell narrator.

I feel like we caught him – Simon – in the midst of his crises. Yes, I know a book has to start somewhere, but I couldn't help but wonder why and how he let his house get in such disrepair that he literally fell through the floor. The house was meant to be a sinister character too, I guess, but it was just silly. And all of a sudden Simon was in an awkward relationship with the girl he grew up with (did I miss the chapter when they slept together?!) Overall, rather clumsy storytelling in my opinion.

Finally, the "slow burn" to the climax was a bit excruciating. It was also pretty predictable and definitely eye-roll-worthy. I was even chanting in my head "seriously, don't do it, don't do it" while reading of Simon's fate. Then lo and behold, a nice big bow wrapped around the whole story. No thanks.

I read that some people were making the suggestion, "If you liked Night Circus, this is better." That sealed it. I wasn't a fan.

There was one small shimmer, way toward the end, that immediately got me out of my comfy reading spot to grab a pen. This quote is gorgeous:

"Once you've held a book and really loved it, you forever remember the feel of it, its specific weight, the way it sits in your hand."

Too bad I didn't feel that way about this book...

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I Am Having So Much Fun Here Without You

by Courtney Maum
July 11-August 1, 2015

I love novels about Paris. I also love that after ahem many ahem years since my last French class that I am still able to read French sentences fairly well. I was drawn to this novel solely based on the title. It sounded like the perfect summer read. While it started out that way, I quickly lost interest as the storyline lost its way.

A British artist cheats on his French wife with an American journalist. He's completely obsessed with the American and even more so since she ended their affair. But he loves his daughter and tries to convince himself that he needs to make things work with his wife. In the middle of it all is a painting that symbolizes these relationships. This is my simplified explanation of the plot because I'm not sure it deserves any more than that. While the book started out with gusto, I couldn't help but get extremely bored as the plot went around and around so many times without an acceptable resolution that I stopped caring.

My favorite lines, however, were those that humanized Paris. I will get there one day – soon.

"No woman possessed more confidence in her appearance than Paris."

Overall, nothing felt real, the ending was rushed, and the protagonist was a whiny asshole. From other reviews I read on Goodreads, it seems that many share my feelings. Even more people seemed to have abandoned this book. Me and my displaced loyalty.


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The Book of God: The Bible as a Novel

by Walter Wangerin Jr.
Lent 2015


I have to admit that I've lapsed in my Catholicism of late. But I do try to remind myself of my faith every Lenten season. Small steps are better than no steps. So aside from giving up popcorn (which is a major sacrifice!), this year I promised to do some faith-based reading. 40 (long) days of The Bible as a Novel.

It would be ridiculous to try to critique the Bible. That's not the point of this post. What was nice was that Wangerin broke down many of the major stories from the Old and New Testaments and included them in a novel form; easier reading for modern western culture. I learned a lot while not feeling overwhelmed by information. But I admit, about halfway through, I was struggling with names and places. I skipped over many of the chapters about Kings when I knew I wasn't going to finish by Easter. Once I got to the life and time of Jesus, told from the apostle's points of view, my nightly page count increased. However, 40 days is a long time and I honestly started missing comfortable, familiar literature. Doesn't that make me sound awful?? There are definitely two types of people though: fiction and nonfiction readers. I simply prefer fiction. Escape from the daily grind. But I've had this book for years, maybe more than 10, and I'm glad I finally finished it. Happy Easter! My favorite holiday.

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All the Light We Cannot See

by Anthony Doerr
January 1-18, 2015

First book of 2015! And boy, was it a great one. With at least five nods as one of the best books of 2014, the only thing that kept me from reading it sooner was simply a slow/off reading year. I'm looking to get my groove back this year.

I read that it took Doerr ten years to write this book. His effort paid off. He is a genius with prose and the imagery made me feel as though I was experiencing the horrors of war with Marie-Laure and Werner. With short chapters and time-hopping of about 10 years in these kid's youths, I was able to read at a pace that I hadn't in quite some time.

Marie-Laure is a blind girl living in Paris with her locksmith father at the time of the German invasion in WWII. Werner is a German orphan with a knack for fixing radios, which ultimately lands him in a school for Hitler youth. Of course their lives intertwine, but for me it was a surprising and delightful meeting. While there were so many moments in the story that were heartbreaking and gut-wrenching, there was an equal amount of poignancy as well as an unexpected history lesson. Marie and her father were forced to flee to her great-uncle's home in Saint-Malo, and I admit that I'd never heard of this town on the Brittany coast of France. I was so fascinated by what I'd read in the book that I did a little more research when I finished. I was struck by a line near the end of the novel (by this point, present day) that really does ring true:

"Every hour, she thinks, someone for whom the war was memory falls out of the world."

I just makes me think that I should have asked more questions of my grandparents when they were still alive. Both my grandfathers fought in WWII.

The "light we cannot see" became a character itself in radio waves, but it also symbolized many moments in the lives of the protagonists. The fate of the "Sea of Flames," a rare gem entrusted to Marie's father for safe keeping, is a perfect discussion point because, do we really know what happened to it?

I savored every word of this, in my opinion, masterpiece. I can only hope to be as luckily with the rest of my book choices for this year.


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The Museum of Extraordinary Things

by Alice Hoffman
Nov 24-Dec28, 2014

I finished reading this book a week ago, and unlike a really great book you can't stop thinking about, I haven't given this one another thought. Historical fiction can not only be educational, but also entertaining – within the right context. This story is sandwiched in between two horrific fires: the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire and the Dreamland fire. These unimaginable tragedies do not make for an entertaining read, especially when the author adds in a deplorable father whose inhuman acts would disturb and trouble even the most stoic reader.

With New York City at the turn of the last century as one of the other main "characters," I felt that more focus was placed upon it than the actual people and their unconvincing, evolving love story. In other words, I feel there was just too much crammed into one book. There were times when I would be completely engrossed and read page after page. But more times than not, I would drift off and have no comprehension of what I just read. Really great potential, but never fully realized.

My favorite parts we those of Maureen, the "faithful" servant and nanny, and her secret love affair with the Wolfman. More focus should have been placed on them, than on Coralie and Eddie. Why does it always seem that historical fiction needs to have a love-at-first-sight plot? Include a bunch of convenient resolutions, and it's one cliche after another. I'm not sure I've ever read a Hoffman novel before, but for some reason her name stands out in my mind. Unfortunately now it's not for a good reason.

Oh well, on to better books. Happy 2015!

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The Book of Life

by Deborah Harkness
July-October 2014

Now that's the way to end a delicious trilogy! I literally savored every moment of this third and final installment of the All Souls Trilogy because I simply didn't want it to end. My friend tore through this eagerly-awaited book in less than a week, but I couldn't. I rationed myself. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Matthew and Diana.

It's surprising to me how many negative reviews I'm reading about The Book of Life. Highly-critical readers upset by the outcome of Ashmole 782, the Covenant and the never-ending cast of characters. I couldn't disagree more. Once again with the silky smooth narration of Jennifer Ikeda, I was left {ahem} enchanted. There were times when I listened and gasped, cried or laughed out loud. Harkness knew exactly how to write a book just for me. I'm also hearing buzz from other fans of this trilogy requesting more from Harkness; perhaps a book about the life of Gallowglass?? How about a new book dedicated to the lives of the twins? Either way, I'm in!

The "magic" was definitely back after getting a bit lost in Shadow of Night. Diana and Matthew's relationship strengthened, they had twins, the family bond grew even stronger, and we were introduced to a few new characters. Oh, and Diana's powers kick ass. I can't praise the story, the writing, the characters enough. Just so, so great. And speaking of great, quite possibly the BEST lines I've read in a book in a long time.

“No, I’m a vampire.” Matthew stepped forward, joining Chris under the projector’s light. “And before you ask, I can go outside during the day and my hair won’t catch fire in the sunlight. I’m Catholic and have a crucifix. When I sleep, which is not often, I prefer a bed to a coffin. If you try to stake me, the wood will likely splinter before it enters my skin.” He bared his teeth. “No fangs either. And one last thing: I do not, nor have I ever, sparkled.” Matthew’s face darkened to emphasize the point.

Take that, Stephenie Meyer. As for my rating, a VERY rare, but more than worthy, five stars. I will eventually read all three again.

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The Vacationers

by Emma Straub
Sept 26-Oct 20, 2014

Perfect time of year to read about a family vacation to Mallorca. A family with issues, but a vacation nonetheless. This book had the lazy, carefree tone of a vacation that sucked me in right away.

And then. And then nothing happened! The Posts brought their infidelity baggage with them and their 35-year marriage, while their daughter just kind of watched everything happen around her. Her brother was a bit of a disaster and quite honestly an asshole. Throw in the family friends, who had the potential to be the most interesting of the bunch, but were there just to make sure more drama filled the pages.

I struggled through this very short book and honestly should have just given up. It didn't hold my attention, and I can't say that I formed any attachment to any one character. And though I'm not a prude and don't mind a little "sex talk" in the novels I read, I found that, out of nowhere, an overly-crude sentence or two would pop up without enhancing the story one way or the other. Add the cliche of a love-struck teenager who ends up getting used in her most vulnerable state, and it's just time for this vacation to end.

Just as my eye rolling and tongue clicking was getting louder and more frequent, Straub pulled out the ultimate cheesy metaphor. With everyone all kissy/huggy and made up, they fly home:

"Marriages, like ships, needed steering, and steady hands at the wheel. Franny wrapped both of her arms around Jim's right one, her grip firm and ready for any turbulence ahead."

Gimme a break.

* * * * *

Life After Life

by Kate Atkinson
May 22-July17, 2014

met•a•fic•tion | ˈmetəˌfikSHən |
noun
fiction in which the author self-consciously alludes to the artificiality or literariness of a work by parodying or departing from novelistic conventions (esp. naturalism) and traditional narrative techniques.

Ursula Todd dies. A lot. Pretty much in every chapter of this book. In a more serious look at a Groundhog Day-type of story, Ursula lives a little longer each time and learns valuable lessons along the way. Oh, and she assassinates Hilter before he has a chance to rise to power.

"What if we had a chance to do it again and again, until we finally did get it right? Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

I was immediately drawn into this unusual plot and devoured the first half of Life After Life ... And. Then. It. Started. To. Drag. On. And. On. And ...

Oh, sorry, I nearly fell asleep there. What had the potential to be so interesting and different turned into a too-long history lesson on the Blitz. (I found out afterward that this portion is considered the "dark bleeding heart" of the novel.) I would find myself drifting off as I struggled through each chapter. At the beginning I was on pace to finish this book in about two weeks and instead it took nearly two months. Again, I'm wasting time on the so-so and not moving on to the great. But it always makes me hesitant to quit a book with so much positive hype.

To be fair, I do think a lot was lost on me due to the fact that the author chose to use German phrases and sentences frequently. I know no German. (Sidenote: wouldn't it be great if along with a regular dictionary, the kindle also offered a translation app? Simply hover the cursor over a phrase and get the English translation. Maybe I could get rich off this idea...) Granted, that's my ignorance, but it did get quite frustrating to miss the crux of so many scenes. I guess in the end it isn't the writing or even the overall premise that I didn't like. It just wasn't my cup of tea.

* * * * *

Never Knowing

by Chevy Stevens
May-July 2014

I really struggled through this one. Immediately, I was turned off by the narrator's voice; it was so affected and forced. Kind of like a bad acting job, but in her defense, she didn't exactly have exciting or intelligent dialogue to work with. The only reason I felt the need to stick it out was because of how much I enjoyed Still Missing.

The main character, Sara, was quite possibly the most annoying protagonist I've read in a long time. Whiny, selfish and just an overall pain in the ass, I would actually find myself clicking my tongue while listening to her antics. Her relationship with her fiancé felt forced. Her attitude with the police was completely obnoxious. None of her relationships were the least bit genuine.

In the same style as Still Missing, Sara is speaking to a voiceless therapist in each chapter. I guess this is Stevens' "thing?" Just because it was successful once does not mean it should be reused. This time it came across as obvious and trite.

The twist at the end was not only expected, but also proved to have no real bearing on the story. It was thrown in as an afterthought. Since I paid money for this audiobook I hung on until the end, torturous as it was. It's funny, I was reading some other reader reviews and it seems it's either a love it or hate it book. The complaints I read were exactly like my own. With so many books out there, I think I need to stop being loyal to random authors. It's one thing to read several titles by an author I consider a favorite, but just because I discover a great new book doesn't mean I need to read an author's complete repertoire. Enough of that.

* * * * *

The Goldfinch

by Donna Tartt
March 20–May17, 2014

I can't believe it's been just over a month since I finished this book. Not only did it take me FOREVER to finish, it's now taken me forever to post. I guess I've been as busy as a one-legged man ... well, you get the idea. The delay, however, has nothing to do with what a fabulous book The Goldfinch is.

I wasn't prepared for how heavy this book would weigh on me. The subject matter, characters and circumstances were quite exhausting. At a whopping 771 pages, Goldfinch has a lot to cover. Theo is just 13 when a terrorist attack in an art museum kills his mother, leaving him with horrific visions of the dead and the survivors, as well as life-long post-traumatic stress. In a split-second decision on his way to safety, Theo's life is forever tied to that museum, with art and antiques becoming his passion. All this not before a horrendous childhood filled with drugs, alcohol, and the desperate need to fit in. While Theo makes poor decisions constantly throughout his life, the reader will inevitably keep cheering for him. He wants to be a better person.

The entire cast of characters will take your emotions for a wild ride. From hatred to pity to compassion, Tartt was able to capture the full gamut. It's no wonder The Goldfinch has won countless literary prizes, including the 2014 Pulitzer for fiction. One of the better books I've read in a while.

* * * * *

Stories I Only Tell My Friends

by Robe Lowe
January-April 2014

I have to admit something. I have been a completely pathetic reader this year. The good thing is that it's only May and I've already taken three trips/vacations, with 2-3 more still pending, but all that fun and frolic seriously cuts into my reading time. It just doesn't pay to read after a night out of drinking ... it only means that I end up rereading that same chapter over again. And though I love to read on an airplane, once I'm at my destination, reading wanes. Mainly because there is always a TV in the bedroom; one thing I will not allow myself at home. It's proof right there that I will choose the boob tube over a book. Anyway...

I've had the Audible version of Stories... since it first came out. A friend of mine pestered me incessantly to read it. Not sure why I held off. Rob Lowe really has some amazing stories about his life experiences. He's kind of like Forrest Gump in that way ... he literally was always at the right place at the right time to meet actors, politicians and even princesses ... and date practically all of the women he met.

This audiobook is the perfect example of when it's appropriate for the author to narrate his own book. Lowe has an amazing ability with impressions, expressions and compassion. There were parts that were laugh-out-loud funny, and stories that were poignant and sad (his inadvertent involvement with Flight 96). There's really no need to write a complete synopsis because that would serve to only give away the surprise and delight of each anecdote. I will, however, say that the stories about the casting and the making of The Outsiders were my favorite. I'm dying to watch that movie again now that I know a little of the inside scoop.

I suppose at some point I will listen to his latest, Love Life, which supposedly was written because there was such a high demand from fans for "more." Bottom line is that this is worth the listen. I'm sure the written word is good as well, but his voice made it that much better. No great literary work, but a fun look into an actor's crazy life.

* * * * *

For Today I am a Boy

by Kim Fu
February 16-March 2, 2014

Peter, the third of four children, is a boy, a coveted one, by his traditional Chinese father. After two girls, Peter finally arrives. Testing his luck, Peter's father decides to try for another boy, only to have a third girl. And the biggest problem is that Peter wishes he were a girl. Only he can't properly define these feelings, instead worshipping his sisters in every way, even wearing their clothes and makeup.

And thus the promising basis for a quick, thought-provoking read. At only 261 pages, Kim Fu has her work cut out for her. For the sake of character development, I think we would have been better off had she added about another 100 pages. Peter's sisters each have dedicated chapters in the book, as do other random characters, but their stories didn't succeed in enhancing the theme, only questioning their relevance.

"If I had to name this thing I was born with, I would've called it misery."

I can't begin to understand the gender confusion that Peter struggles with. But his journey has the potential for such a thought-provoking narrative, which unfortunately (mostly) failed in my eyes. The book was just a little too disjointed and not fully realized. But Fu is a young author whose writing style has plenty of promise. Better luck for her sophomore novel.

* * * * *

The Rosie Project

by Graeme Simsion
December 2013-January 2014

Don Tillman has Asperger's Syndrome. But don't tell him. He doesn't realize it. He's extremely intelligent; a genetics professor, but sometimes the most obvious is also the least obvious. Upon meeting a new person, Don estimates his age and approximate BMI. Hilarious.

Don is looking for a wife. That's where Rosie comes in. She is the exact opposite of everything he requires in a mate. Of course, that's what made this book so enjoyable. I'm not sure I would have liked The Rosie Project as much if I would have read the physical book. The story really benefitted from the narration of Dan O'Grady and his excellent Australian accent (his English accent, not-so-much).

Overall, I wouldn't say this book had much "meat" to it. Don't yell at me, some will argue with that for sure. Maybe I can say it had less substance than what I normally read. But that doesn't make it any less of a treat. For once, I just don't have a lot to say about it.

* * * * *

Help for the Haunted

by John Searles
October 28-Nov19, 2013

What a waste of three precious weeks of reading time. I can't remember now what made me want to read this book, but it had to be something significant because this genre is never chosen by me. I'm just not a fan of mystery or suspense. And while I think a book can accomplish way more than a movie can, I found myself thinking that this book will be way scarier if (when) it gets made into a movie.

Since I'm not going to recommend Help for the Haunted to any of my book friends, spoilers will abound in this review. Please keep reading though because I'm telling you it's not worth your time anyway.

The whole time I was reading, I felt as though I stepped into the middle of the conversation. It's not like when chapters leave you hanging in suspense, but more like I wasn't in on the secret, which was incredibly frustrating. I just never found my stride. The gist of this book is that Sylvie and her sister Rose are left orphaned after their parents are murdered. Sylvester and Rose Mason have the unusual, but highly publicized career of helping those who have been haunted in one way or another. Sylvie has been coerced by her evil, cruel sister to give the police a story which leads them away from Rose being the prime suspect, but Sylvie can't help but think that there is another side to the story. From here the book drags and drags, weaving from present to past and throwing in a handful of stories meant to throw the reader off. I found myself bored, but not really giving up because I had to find out who the murderer was. And if I'm being honest, Searles writing style is easy to read. But the creepy stuff and learning more about the Mason's "healing" work didn't seem to accomplish its task ... to scare me, the reader. There's a doll at the crux of the story that had ill-effects on its owner until the Masons came and removed it. The doll then proceeded to bring chaos and sickness to Sylvie's mom, until they locked it away in a rabbit cage in the basement. This is where I think visuals would be more successful.

I could continue to ramble on, but I made my point about the scattered story line. Still, I pressed on, sure that the payoff would be worth it. And then, AND THEN, it turns out the Masons were fakes!!!! No one or nothing was haunted and they healed no one!! Seriously?! The father just drugged people making them believe they were being possessed. All in the name of publicity!! There's even an undercurrent of homophobia and intolerance connected to Rose. What a giant waste of time!!!! If I'm going to pick up a book that promises suspense, mystery and the supernatural, WHY do I want it to turn out to be a hoax after all?? Waste. There's three weeks I will never get back. Lesson learned.

* * * * *

Heft

by Liz Moore
August-October 2013

The genius of audiobooks are their use of multiple readers for main characters. You really feel like the story comes alive with each different voice. In this case, it was practically imperative.

The other bonus of audiobooks is that I'm essentially reading two books at once: one on "paper" (literally or virtually), one in my ears. As a slow reader, this allows me to stay somewhat current on my never-ending book list.

Imagine a man; smart, sensitive, but not-so-good-looking, with a bit of a damaged family history. As a college professor, Arthur Opp falls for a student. They are instantly compatible, but between the age difference and his emotional issues, a real relationship never comes to pass. They do, however, write letters for many years. Charlene's life takes another direction, but she continues to write to Arthur. Until she suddenly stops. Meanwhile, Arthur, over the years, "feeds" his feelings with food. So much food that he weighs over 550 pounds and has not left his house in years. The letters were all he had. Then out of the blue Arthur receives word from Charlene and everything changes. Enter the other side of the story, told by Kel, Charlene's son.

I can't even begin to express how much I enjoyed this book. Chapters woven between Arthur's and Kel's narratives, stories from present day and past; each one more interesting than the next. I never once guessed where Heft was going and was eager to find out. I was left thinking about what really constitutes a family, and how important it is to have loved ones who care.

I googled "awards for Heft by Liz Moore" and was surprised to find very little. Such a great book deserved more praise (although I admit, I'm not the best googler, and may have missed something). Even on Moore's own site, awards are scarce. I'm so surprised. The only one I found was the Beverly Hills Literary Escape's Medici Book Club Prize ... aka, Totally New to Me. A book like this certainly deserves more praise. You should read it and get the word out.

* * * * *

Tampa

by Allisa Nutting
Sept 26-Oct 13, 2013

This book should have come with a warning: Rated M for mature audiences. Seriously. But it also should have come with a lesser-known warning: this book will absolutely make you squirm. While reading I felt both criminal and twisted for continuing to turn the pages. My conscience told me to put it down. But I just couldn't. I needed to know that Celeste Price wasn't going to get away with it.

And by "it" I mean preying her on 14-year old male students. To fulfill her sexual needs. Nutting does not gloss over details; she embellishes to the point of jaw-dropping disbelief. What was going through the author's head as she penned each chapter?? Controversial subject matter is sure to sell more books, is my opinion. When I was ready to give up on Tampa, I decided to check out a few reviews on Goodreads to see if I was the one who was off-base. It seems the general consensus was that her writing was great and that was what kept readers interested to the end. I'm not sure I agree with that. Not that it was horrible, but it just "was." I suppose it if was really awful I would have been more inclined to quit. But I just had to make sure justice was served.

The official synopsis goes as far as calling Tampa "seriocomic;" yet I never once cracked a smile. And while I'm quite sure the controversy over this book will simply be because the so-called gender roles are reversed, I can't necessarily say that this was a tale that needed to be told. Getting into Celeste's mind is no place I'd ever want to be. When she described her target as an "adolescent morsel," I gagged. First because GROSS and second because I hate the word morsel. This is the point where I can chuckle. The bottom line is that reactions like mine wouldn't even occur if the teacher was a male and obsessed with young girls. We'd condemn him, yes, but it wouldn't have the same shock value.

The last few chapters were the most intriguing for me because I felt they did the best at really getting into a pedophile's mind. To explain that no amount of punishment would cure this sickness. To show that there is no remorse in the merciless. And as to whether or not justice was served... well... you'll have to find out for yourself.

It's interesting to note that Allisa Nutting is an assistant professor at John Carroll University, which many of my friends attended. I wonder if any of them ever crossed her path?! I'd love to know what is on her creative writing class syllabus.

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