Eight Hundred Grapes

by Laura Dave
September 3-16, 2015

Synchronization (actual definition): to represent or arrange (events) to indicate coincidence or coexistence.

Synchronization (novel's definition): A "clever" attempt to make an underwhelming story deeper than it really is.

That's the first problem. Trying to make an irrational runaway bride with a normal, only slightly effed up family seem like the next great work of literature. And an author who used the word synchronization like it's an epiphany. At least that's how I interpreted it. The second issue was that the entire book was. Written. In Sentence. Fragments. This got monotonous and distracting after only a few pages. Used properly, this technique can be fun and expressive, but in Eight Hundred Grapes, I'm sure English teachers everywhere were clutching at their grammar textbooks.

“You have to grow about eight hundred grapes to get just one bottle of wine. If that isn’t an argument to finish the bottle, I don’t know what is."

In truth, I'm not sure I can give this book the fair review that every book deserves. I read it so long ago that I barely remember it (nearly two months is a long time in avid-reader days). But to dismiss something so completely in that length of time speaks to the depth of the story – forgettable.

Overall, nothing of note. A light story with potential, but just too shallow.

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